The other day I read an article in a magazine about communication between man and woman. Interpersonal communication is complex, especially between the genders.
The article started off like this-- “In her book The Female Brain, American neuropsychiatrist Louanne Brizendine has confirmed that--women are far better communicators than men, in fact, almost three times better, judging on the number of words used. Woman account for some 20,000 words in a day, while man go through a mere 7000.”
This is interesting fact indeed. From the given statistics above, we can say that women have more words at their disposal; it is therefore understandable that they are capable of conversing with far more nuance and subtlety than men. However, I feel that this does not necessarily mean that women get misunderstood less. In real life, men and women alike are often misunderstood because they are usually too lazy to express themselves clearly.
In interpersonal communication, often the words you say are not necessarily those that people hear. This is because communication is not just about words said and words heard. Often, emotions such as insecurities and egoism come in between, resulting in words being “lost in translation”. This in turn will lead to all kinds of dangerous relationship connotations. Women being the more emotional of the two genders tend to interpret information more emotionally, and they may be more likely to misunderstand people and be misunderstood too.
Men and women communicate in very different ways, thus inevitably leading to miscommunication. For example, if a lady says “I hate my boss.”
The man may hear it as “tell me how to fix the situation.”
When women complain, most of the time, what they want is for people to validate her feelings of frustrations, to empathise with her and just to be her audience. However, men, out of good intentions, like to give advices which women find irritating. So a better way to say what she actually mean would be –“I had a really bad day at work and I want to tell you how I am feeling.”
Meaning is attached to language by humans. Ambiguity and multi-interpretations often arise when a person uses emotionally-charged words and not mentioning the subject matter specifically and directly. A simple sentence such as “I HATE my boss” can convey different meanings and be understood differently. Listeners may interpret that your boss is really annoying or that you are just a bitter and petty person. Is it that your boss is always annoying or that you find him annoying just this once?
From the above example, we learn that for effective communication, we must always focus on actual event and people. We must also try to be as objective as possible.
The article started off like this-- “In her book The Female Brain, American neuropsychiatrist Louanne Brizendine has confirmed that--women are far better communicators than men, in fact, almost three times better, judging on the number of words used. Woman account for some 20,000 words in a day, while man go through a mere 7000.”
This is interesting fact indeed. From the given statistics above, we can say that women have more words at their disposal; it is therefore understandable that they are capable of conversing with far more nuance and subtlety than men. However, I feel that this does not necessarily mean that women get misunderstood less. In real life, men and women alike are often misunderstood because they are usually too lazy to express themselves clearly.
In interpersonal communication, often the words you say are not necessarily those that people hear. This is because communication is not just about words said and words heard. Often, emotions such as insecurities and egoism come in between, resulting in words being “lost in translation”. This in turn will lead to all kinds of dangerous relationship connotations. Women being the more emotional of the two genders tend to interpret information more emotionally, and they may be more likely to misunderstand people and be misunderstood too.
Men and women communicate in very different ways, thus inevitably leading to miscommunication. For example, if a lady says “I hate my boss.”
The man may hear it as “tell me how to fix the situation.”
When women complain, most of the time, what they want is for people to validate her feelings of frustrations, to empathise with her and just to be her audience. However, men, out of good intentions, like to give advices which women find irritating. So a better way to say what she actually mean would be –“I had a really bad day at work and I want to tell you how I am feeling.”
Meaning is attached to language by humans. Ambiguity and multi-interpretations often arise when a person uses emotionally-charged words and not mentioning the subject matter specifically and directly. A simple sentence such as “I HATE my boss” can convey different meanings and be understood differently. Listeners may interpret that your boss is really annoying or that you are just a bitter and petty person. Is it that your boss is always annoying or that you find him annoying just this once?
From the above example, we learn that for effective communication, we must always focus on actual event and people. We must also try to be as objective as possible.
9 comments:
Hi kai lin!
'Woman account for some 20,000 words in a day, while man go through a mere 7000'. Ohh that is interesting! Maybe that is why when us women say certain things, the men do not understand it since they do not process certain words we use to express ourselves and what we have to say.
Furthermore, I agree that we have to be as objective as possible when it comes to interaction with one another. However, sometimes it is easy to miscommunicate information as communication is subjective in nature, especially when they are communicated through nonverbal cues. It is through the nonverbal cues that we attach a personal meaning to what the person is saying to us.
Hahaha maybe it's not that women have more words at their disposal, but just that men are more... simple. I suppose that they understand and CAN use such words.. but whether or not they WANT to is another question?
besides, men... cavemen... all the same. hahahha
Yea, sometimes explaining oneself can get tiring. And it's annoying when someone just keeps asking why why why after every statement you make. I doubt we can ever rid ourselves of miscommunication. And maybe it's better we don't cos it makes life funnier that way=)
Gender differences! Haha I agree with Jo, that perhaps it's just that females tend to exaggerate things.
"Men and women communicate in very different ways, thus inevitably leading to miscommunication." Totally agreed on. For guys, what they say is what they mean. But for the women, they can say one thing and mean another. Typical example: when asked what's wrong, they say that nothing is, but obviously something's not right. And most times it's the non verbal cues that tell us what's really going on.
It's the one thing that gives us away, as subconsciously we're still giving out all kinds of signals.
yes true, but miscommunication is what makes life imperfect yet interesting.. in this modern day and age, we have more modes of communication, like internet and phone, but misunderstanding and miscommunication do not seem to get lesser, do they? the fact that women are better communicators is realli sth to reflect on... to answer this question, we have to ask yet another question-- "are men or women more objective?"
Hey! hmm for myself, i think its not a matter of whether women or men are better at communication. Perhaps, its a matter of whether you are willing or not.. women may tend to value relationships more, hence the willingness to put in more effort to maintain and improve them through effective communication. but sometimes haha the harder they try, the worse the situations may be. I think when people get closer to each other, they will understand one another more deeply, hence miscommuniations will be reduced regardless of which gender. But problem lies in that we thought we know he or she well enough, what does he or she think? whats the fact?
yo KL! i think men are more easily misunderstood, take myself for example. Men seldom like to explain themselves, they assume that people know what they mean. We hear 'a man of few words' but never 'a woman of few words'. However, does fewer words spoken means person is more easily misunderstood by others. This is really food for thought, ya?
I think what's impt is that we have to remind ourselves that our words aren't always interpreted the way we want them to be, we have to check to ensure that we don't get misunderstood.
When listening to others, we have to try to take on their perspectives so as to interpret their words more accurately.
Interesting post!
Another point to note is that of our body language. According to some studies, our body language actually contributes to 30% of what is being said.
In some situations, we even tend to believe more in what the body language says than words!
Generally, it's perceived that women talk more than men. Though having more words at their disposal doesn't neccessarily mean they will have a lower likelihood of being misunderstood.
I believe that has got to do with communication skills and that can be honed with constant practice. So effectively women are generally better communicators? Haha..
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